Korea: The Other Experience

Every once in a while one of Korea’s top expat bloggers will post something negative about their experiences in Korea. When they do this, it always sets off a firestorm of comments. People come out of the woodwork to add their support to the original blog entry, or voice their dissent. Normally another blogger will take the post to task and break down the original negativity, point by point.

I’ve been in Korea, and blogging about Korea, long enough to recognize the patterns. People will come forth claiming they’ve had similar negative experiences, only to be quashed by other folks saying they aren’t trying hard enough to enjoy Korea. This month, you’ve got Chris and Rob doing the dance. Both gentlemen keep the discussion civil, which is a bonus. These things have a tendency to spiral into trolling (which, coincidentally, is an easy way to get more traffic to your blog).

I’m not going rehash those posts in here. If you’re interested in what they have to say, you can click the links and read for yourself. In fact, I encourage you to do so as it won’t take you very long.

The point of this entry is to express my feelings on some of my fellow expats’ Korean experiences. A lot of the negative experiences they’ve encountered have been completely missing from the four years I’ve spent in Kimchiland. I have often wondered why there’s such a disparity between my Korean life and theirs. Some of it is circumstance. Some of it is choice. Some of it could just be chance.

One of the frequent complaints expats have about Korea is the treatment they receive from middle-aged Korean women (and senior citizens). Many an expat claims they were pushed out of the way by an ajumma, or an ajumma cut in line, in front of them. Some expats feel the ajumma is showing her distaste of foreigners by these kinds of actions.

Yet, since July ‘07, I have been maliciously pushed by Koreans a grand total of ZERO times. I was butted in line once in Daegu, at Home Plus. A mother was with her children, and the moment she did it I thought “Aha! Finally! An ajumma cut in front of me. There is truth to the stereotype!”. Then she turned around, saw me, and realized what she had done. She was about to go behind me, but I told her it was okay, since I had less items than her, and she had two kids in tow.

Standing in line at the theatre? No one cut. Waiting for the bus? Being Canadian, I always let other people enter first. Waiting to take an elevator? Nobody shoved me out of the way. Daegu is a huge city, with massive crowds, big lines and a traditional mindset, but I didn’t get any mean-spirited Koreans targeting me. There was some jostling while walking down Donseongno during Saturday afternoons, but that is to be expected.

The only time someone shoved me, was during my first time in Seoul. I went to see a Korean friend I knew during the Lunar New Year of ‘09. We were going to the subway, and a man was barrelling down the escalator. He shoved me out of the way, since I had been standing on the left side. My friend shook her head and sadly informed me “that’s why I hate living in Seoul”. The guy didn’t shove me because I was a foreigner. He did it because he was a big-city douche whose fast lifestyle made him better than everyone else (also, I was standing on the wrong side of the escalator).

Many an expat cries out they’ll never be truly accepted in Korea, no matter how long they live here. I take that as a given, especially with the current presidential administration in power. Legally, we can’t have the same rights as Korean citizens. So unless you want to go down that route, don’t expect 100% acceptance.

I do have qualms with not being treated equally, which I view as a separate issue. I’ve spoken out about the pathetic HIV test we must get to teach, and the intrusive inquires on the questionnaire. I find this behaviour unacceptable because it demonstrates the hypocrisy of the current legal/judicial system in this country. I’ll get angry at the politicians and media, but I won’t hold it against the general population.

But that’s one of the problems many people have. They do hold these injustices against the general population. Where some expats see it as a “Korean” problem, I view it as a “political” problem. If some newspaper laments over unqualified, dangerous, English teachers, I’ll rip into the idiot writer. I’m not going to bring it up with my Korean friends, because it’s entirely unnecessary. I surely won’t think my friends distrust me because some English language paper they don’t read says so.

If you’re coming to Korea, you need to be able to separate official government policy from the feelings of the rest of the population. If you’re jostled in a crowd, it’s not because of anti-foreign sentiment. If you go out and about in Korea with that mindset, eventually the paranoia will get to you, and you will suspect every incident has a negative, xenophobic connotation.

That’s not to say actual and overt racism doesn’t rear its head. It does. I haven’t experienced  much during my time here, but some of my friends get it constantly. I’m not exactly sure what separates me from them. You’d think I’d experience more racism, since I have better Korean skills and can understand when someone is insulting me. The truth though, is that I’ve never been hurled insults (aside from sassy students, but that’s a given), or been jumped. I’ve never been denied service at a restaurant, other than arriving too late. I’ve never been in a shouting match with someone who hates Americans (they always assume I’m American). I’ve never been accosted for being together with one of my Korean lady friends while on a date.

I’ve been here longer than most. I’m in greater contact with more Koreans than nearly every other foreigner I know. I’ve travelled throughout the country by myself, with foreigners and with Koreans. I was in Daegu during the mad cow incident(s). I’ve rubbed elbows with the lowest classes and with the elites. Despite all this, I haven’t had the same treatment as some other folks I know. Perhaps I’ve just been lucky in this regard. At the very least, you should know it’s possible to live in Korea without being slagged all the time.

That’s not to say I haven’t met real dicks and bitches in Korea. I have. On a constant basis. A douche stole a taxi I was going to take last Saturday. I was waiting for 10 minutes, and he came along to walk 10 metres in front of me and snagged the first cab. He didn’t do it because he wanted to burn the resident foreigner. He did it because he was a tool (felt black pea jacket, tight jeans and slightly spiky hair with Converse shoes. You know the type). In Daegu, I met many a girl who wanted to hang around me just to have a foreign boy toy (the ultimate accessory). I refused to hang out with them and I don’t think all Korean women are similarly shallow (same as North American chicks trying to get it on with sophisticated Brits).

It’s entirely possible I would have a vastly different set of experiences had I been living in Seoul. Roughly 80% of the expats I know live in the Seoul area. Usually the ones complaining about poor treatment are the folks living in Seoul. I tend to chalk that up as the effects of metropolitan urbanization (ask a Canadian what they think of Torontonians sometime). Most foreigners may be surprised by this, but Seoulites also pick on Koreans from other parts of the country. If you’re in Seoul, and you don’t have a Seoul accent (or knowledge of the dialect), then you will be be constantly reminded you don’t fit in. Many of my students now studying in Seoul (living the dream?) continuously tell me they’re hazed or frowned down upon. It depresses them.

Foreigners may be disheartened by the constant mocking of their attempts to speak Korean, but many Koreans will do the same to other Koreans. If you’re Korean and speak a regional dialect, or pronounce a word differently from Seoul Standard, then you’re going to be seen as uncultured and uncouth. Hell, I get flak in Gangwon-do all the time, but when I’m back in Daegu everyone magically understands me (I spent too long in the Gyeongsangbuk-do region!). It’s a sense of elitism, and it is frustrating, but it isn’t racially motivated.

The stares? The constant hi’s? The folks coming up to you to practise their English? I experience all that. The stares I no longer notice. The million hi’s and hello’s I say in a day have become tedious (you have no idea unless you teach at a public school with 600+ students). I generally try to shrug it off since there’s no malice in the delivery. If someone gives me a “hey man! What’s up?” in an obviously rude tone, I’ll give them the cold shoulder. If someone says “오! 외국인!”, I’ll mock them with a “오! 한국인!”. If a taxi driver is being nosey and asking me how much I make, I ask him how much he makes. If he answers, I’ll follow suit.

I’ll be honest: I feel bad for some of my expats. It’s easy to be bitter when you’re on the receiving end of constant racism. It’s easy for me to lecture other people, while I live safely outside of Seoul’s clutches. I wish everyone could have a generally positive time in Korea, but that’s not going to happen.

The one thing I should stress is you mustn't jump to blanket statements about Korean society as a whole. It’s lazy. It’s counter-productive. You also come off as highly whiny. If you’re angry about the government not accepting you, then direct your ire towards the Korean government. If you get bumped downtown, don’t take the lazy route and blame Koreans as being a pushy people. If you read another article in a newspaper that laments the demise of Korean culture due to Western influence, dissect the idiotic writing in a letter to the editor (or blog about it).

Chances are, the country you hail from isn’t much better than Korea in many of these departments. Anglophones will get the cold shoulder in Quebec for not speaking French. People who look different in Sydney, Cape Breton will probably garner plenty of stares. Mexicans are constantly profiled on American media. Etc. Coming to Korea, you’re obviously a minority, and will be treated like it at some point. If you simply cannot accept that, then I would suggest you look into another, more accommodating, country to employ you.

One point worth considering is: not everyone’s Korean experience will be the same. Perhaps you read a blog and it constantly harps on the negatives of Korea. Perhaps you read another that shows Korea to be a joyous place to exist. You need to understand that your Korean experience is what you make of it. Some ensure they have a great time. Others wallow in self-pity. How you choose to proceed in Korea will greatly affect how you experience the country.