One of the things going to Singapore made me realise was how the definition of “home” really shifted for yours truly. If you’ve been an expat for a long enough time, I am sure you’ve gone through a similar experience.
While I was in Singapore, there were several instances I heard Korean being spoken. My ears zoned in on those familiar sounds and my eyes sought out the speakers. It was also true when I was on international flights. My mind ignored everyone else, but made sure to identify the Koreans.
When I was walking around Singapore, my mind completely tuned out the North Americans speaking English. For the most part, I ignored them, unless they came up to me asking for help.
White folks speaking North American English got a pass, but Asians speaking Korean made me perk up?
Have I gone native?
I knew I would write this blog entry today, so last night I broke down my friends list on Facebook. I wanted to see which group I was naturally inclined to be friendly towards and maintain the most connections.
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Unlike most, I delete people from Facebook if I haven’t had contact with them for three months. I also hate second-guessing posts I make, so I delete people I figure I will end up offending. This keeps the friend list nice and close. Despite being on FB since early ‘06, I have less than 100 friends, due to my 3 month rule.
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So, what are the stats?
Total number of Facebook friends: 94
Total number of females: 54 [57%]
Total number of males: 40 [43%]
Total number of relatives: 11 [12%]
Total number of non-related contacts: 83 [88%]
Total number of Koreans: 44 [47%]
Total number of Canadians: 20 [21%]
Total number of Americans: 14 [15%]
Total number of South Africans: 3 [3%]
Total number of British: 2 [2%]
Total number of French: 2 [2%]
Total number of Palestinians: 2 [2%]
Total number of Singaporeans: 1 [1%]
Total number of Filipinos: 1 [1%]
Total number of Germans: 1 [1%]
Total number of Pakistanis: 1 [1%]
Total number of Irish: 1 [1%]
Total number of Nepalese: 1 [1%]
Total number of Australians: 1 [1%]
Total number of personal students: 24 [26%]
Total number of personal co-workers: 10 [11%]
Total number met prior to coming to Korea: 16 [17%]
Total number met prior to coming to Korea, excluding relatives: 5 [5%]
Total number met in Sea Cadet movement: 3 [3%]
Total number who went to Dalhousie university: 1 [1%]
Total number met after coming to Korea: 78 [83%]
Total number met during hagwon period: 42 [45%]
Total number met during EPIK period: 36 [38%]
Total number met at SeoulTube events: 21 [22%]
Total number living in Daegu: 37 [39%]
Total number living in Gangneung: 6 [6%]
Total number not yet met face-to-face: 3 [3%]
Due to Facebook still making inroads in Korea, many of my Korean peeps aren’t on the site (yet). If they were, the Korean number would crush the others to an even larger extent.
These stats help explain why I tend to identify and associate with Koreans abroad, than I do with people from my own culture. Apparently I’ve been “shunning” everyone else for such an extended period of time that it’s become the norm.
If you take out relatives, the number of “friends” on Facebook is 88. 44 Korean Facebook friends is 50%. If you also remove relatives from the equation, I have 9 Canadian friends, as opposed to 14 Americans (although nearly all of that number comes from SeoulTube and EPIK this year).
This helps explain why I scoff at my family’s weekly reminder of moving back to Canada. As of now, my preference is heavily weighted towards Korea.
Earlier, I asked if I had gone native. I don’t think so. While I enjoy my time in Korea, understand the culture, can stomach the food and have many Korean friends, I wouldn’t be able to cut it as a native Korean. I am too highly critical and independent to match the level of conformity necessary to be Korean. Confucian ideals like blindly respecting elders and your “superiors” hold little sway over me (I prefer simply being polite). I can’t stand nationalism (unless it’s for stuff like the Olympics, and even then I prefer good sportsmanship), and all the “Dokdo/Arirang/Kimchi is Korean, rah rah rah!” stuff makes me gag. As for the music…hmmm.
I prefer to pick and choose aspects of Canadian and Korean society and live by the ideals I agree with. Canada’s egalitarianism where everyone should be treated equally regardless of sex/age/orientation/race/etc? Hells yeah, I’m all aboard. Koreans’ continuous effort for self-improvement is something I identify with. Canada’s multiculturalism and bilingualism are preferable to Korea’s xenophobia and pureblood nonsense. Korea’s attempt to pursue clean energy is more admirable than Canada’s reliance on the embarrassment that is Alberta’s oilsands.
In Korea, being an outsider, I am afforded the opportunity to live the kind of lifestyle I generally agree with. Koreans don’t expect foreigners to understand Korean culture, so there isn’t any pressure to become naturalized. Being a citizen of Canada, if I were to return, there would be obligations and expectations necessary for me to perform in order to fit back into the society. They would be here in Korea too, if I were a Korean citizen. But I am not. And that’s the difference.
With that being said, and the number of connections I have in Korea being noted, it’s a bit of a no-brainer why I’m in my fifth year of living in Korea. My Korean connection runs too deep. When circumstances change, and they will, I will return to Canada. Until then, I will make like the Enterprise and keep on Trekkin’ (in Kimchiland).
What’s the scale of your Korean connection?
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